As if boxing didn't have enough problems. With the growing popularity of Mixed Martial Arts and Ultimate Fighting, rumor is HBO is sniffing a deal although it may have hit a snag since their CEO is a practicioner of those dark arts, there will only be so many premium cable slots and disposable dollars for the sweet science. And that's before we even get into the sleeping giant that is Rock Paper Scissors.
The USA Rock Paper Scissors League, a 17-month old organization, held it's second national championship in, where else, Las Vegas this weekend. Sponsored by Bud Light, featuring a $50,000 top prize and covered by ESPN, the championships are hardly a small time event.
Matt Leshem, a 44-year-old Hollywood producer who says he never plays rock-paper-scissors for less than $100 a throw, founded the league last year after discovering there were leagues in Australia, Canada, Europe and elsewhere. With his booming voice, barrel chest and shiny pate, he stalked the scene of the tournament’s first day at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in a designer suit.
“To me, this is a great sport,” Mr. Leshem said. “Right now it’s got a little bit more of a carnival atmosphere than perhaps we intend, but I can tell people are buzzing. There’s a lot of energy here, and we’re culling the field down to the best of them.”
Leading contenders for the prize included Master Roshambollah and Antoine "Shears" Maanuum, who wore red gloves on his hands because they were just "too hot." Jamie Langridge, a no-nonsense scissor tosser from Texas, took the title home, however. USARPS has started a petition to get the NFL to use the test of skills instead of a coin toss before games, raising the very real and very enticing possibility of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning squaring off in a 2-of-3 throw for the ball in overtime of the AFC Championship Game.
If ESPN, which struck a deal to carry the tournament in March, has its way, and they usually do, it won't be long before all of us are familiar with the "great eight" throwing combinations. Here's a cheat sheet for those not yet in the know.
Avalanche: Rock-Rock-Rock. A “devastating offensive manoeuvre, which requires bravado bordering on recklessness to execute”.
The Bureaucrat: Paper-Paper-Paper. Formerly known as Confetti, “the deadpan delivery is the ultimate in passive-aggressive play”.
The Crescendo: Paper-Scissors-Rock. “Slow-building gambit” with the devastating rock delivering a “coup de grâce”.
Dénouement: Rock-Scissors-Paper. “Uses a cooling-down approach - when used in tandem with the Crescendo the result is often a baffled opponent.”
Fistful o’ dollars: Rock-Paper-Paper. “The rapid switch from offensive to defensive play can force an opponent into a vulnerable spot.”
Paper dolls: Paper-Scissors-Scissors. “An extremely effective gambit against the unwary”.
Scissor sandwich: Paper-Scissors-Paper. “Its main purpose is to unsettle the opponent through use of the concealed scissors”.
Toolbox: Scissors-Scissors-Scissors. “Requires steady hands and steely nerves. Given the puerile popularity of Rock, this gambit is not suggested for use against beginners.”
Floyd Mayweather may have outpointed Oscar De La Hoya but could he use the Scissor Sandwich to best an Avalanche-happy foe? That's a question for the future and we can't wait to find out.
I think toolbox is the most appropriate term here.
Posted by: Larry Brown | May 15, 2007 at 07:13 AM
You may not have heard this, but on Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio this morning they are talking about the Rock, Paper, Scissors League.
Posted by: Jack Cobra | May 15, 2007 at 08:08 AM
I missed Mike & Mike but I'm not surprised. Now that ESPN is televising it, it shouldn't be long before Skip Bayless is screaming at Sean Salisbury about the shortcomings of Master Roshambollah.
Posted by: The Feed | May 15, 2007 at 09:21 AM
It really is getting to be a big deal. We were there along with ESPN to get some video coverage of the event. There was a pretty big crowd and people were loving it.
Check out the video:
http://www.rawvegas.tv/watch.php?vID=b858c05313c1b7d47371f188a948c5
Posted by: RawVegas.tv | May 16, 2007 at 11:33 AM