The Feed

It's A Long Way Down The Holiday Road

The Feed's headed on a little European Vacation next week, not exactly Clark W. Griswold style but we'll do our best to wear our berets in style and not ogle the locals while they're porking at breakfast. Leaving the Yankee struggles behind is pretty appealing even if we'll be curious how this whole San Antonio-Phoenix thing plays out. There's always a possibility of running into a story too good to resist while out on the road but it'll have to be something good to convince the Permanent Piece to let us spend too much time typing away in an internet cafe surrounded by techno dancing Euros. We'll leave it up to you to keep America humming in our absence and promise to return recharged, refreshed and ready for one crazy summer worthy of a John Cusack film of the same name.

Hinske Plays Nijinsky And The Sox Win A Pair

Eric Hinske made a diving catch and hit a home run in the nightcap and Julian Tavarez threw a gem in the opener to give the Red Sox a doubleheader sweep of the Tigers. With a runner on and the Tigers up 2-1 in the fifth, Mike Rabelo drove a ball to the gap that Hinske, not exactly Maysian in the field, caught up with and held onto despite driving his face into the warning track. His two-run homer broke a 2-2 tie in the seventh and gave the Sox a 4-2 win hours after Tavarez held the Motor City Kitties to one run in a 2-1 afternoon matinee victory. Tavarez was in the spirit before the game as well, espousing his love for doubleheaders even while pleading ignorance about Ernie Banks, eternal paramour of the twinbill.

• Somewhere on the short ride from Shea Stadium to the airport for a flight back to Chicago, Lou Piniella likely sat down with Ryan Dempster to continue their discussion from the mound in the bottom of the ninth. The two men yelled at each other at that time, with Sweet Lou imploring Dempster to throw strikes and Dempster saying god knows what in his own defense. Dempster couldn't or wouldn't follow through on Skip's advice, though, and the Mets rallied from 5-1 down to a 6-5 win thanks to three hits and two walks off Dempster and a game-winning single by Carlos Delgado against Scott Eyre. Whatever Piniella said in the latter conversation, it wasn't "Loooooooooooou!"
• Bartolo Colon improved to 5-0 and Vladimir Guerrero blasted a home run somewhere in the general direction of Bainbridge Island as the Angels closed their series in Seattle with a 7-3 victory. Vlad now has eight homers and 29 RBIs in the 24 Angel wins on the season. Ichiro was thrown out stealing, snapping his streak at 45 straight successful attempts on a day when little went right for the Mariners.
• Break up the Nationals! The Nats won for the sixth time in seven games, 4-3 over the Braves, and once again their pitching was to thank. Matt Chico allowed three runs in six innings and the bullpen was perfect from there to help the Nats draw closer to the rest of the NL East. They are still three games behind the Marlins but with strong outings like Chico's it may not be beyond them to fight their way out of the cellar.

Crisis Averted

The Pistons knew what they had to do to beat the Chicago Bulls. They needed to shut down Ben Gordon, Luol Deng and Kirk Hinrich, something they couldn't do in Games Four or Five, and last night they finally did. The Pistons are headed to the Eastern Conference Finals after a 95-85 win in Chicago last night.

It took 24 minutes for them to find their footing, thanks in large part to the half of P.J. Brown's life, but when they did it was an emphatic return.  Down five at the half, the Pistons opened the third quarter with an 18-5 run that turned the tide for good. Defense was the order of the day and Detroit wisely eschewed the bustable zone preferred by Flip Saunders for some honest man-to-man and found the results they were missing in the previous two games. Despite the 20 points from Brown in the first half, the lack of a consistent offensive presence down low really cost Chicago last night and throughout the series. They'll need to address that this summer because the Ben Wallace signing looks pretty silly without a first-rate scorer playing beside him up front. Whether or not that changes his lackadaisacal approach to showing up on time or not remains to be seen but in the closing game of the season he was being beaten to rebounds and his defensive presence was limited at best.

For Detroit the key is clearly in the focus department. Neither the Cavs nor the Nets have the depth to hang with the Pistons over a seven-game series unless they return to the less frenzied defense of the two Chicago losses. If it's Cleveland the Pistons should remain a man-to-man squad to take advantage of their massive superiority over everyone not named LeBron James while Saunders' zone will probably be in order against the Nets. Either way the defense is going to be their route to success in the next round and whichever opponent comes their way it's looking like a third trip to the finals in four years for Detroit.

Make It Work Time

It's getting late mighty early for the Bronx Bombers. Nine and a half games out of first, struggling to score runs and poised for six games with their two biggest rivals, the Yankees could be in better shape for such a challenge. Yes, they still have the most runs scored in all of baseball and they have a history of starting slowly before, as Ozzie Guillen said yesterday, you look up in August and see them in first place. It's still too soon to shovel dirt on the season but you have to wonder if Big Stein will feel that way if they drop even four of six to the Mets and Red Sox. Public relations matter and there's nothing more crucial on that front than games against these two teams.

It would be easier to feel ebullient about their chances if they weren't going to be trotting yet another rookie, likely Tyler Clippard, to the mound at Shea Stadium on Sunday. They've only scored more than three runs twice in the last seven games and all five times they've failed it's added up to a loss. And that was against the middling Mariners and the offensively impotent White Sox. The Mets, flying high after yesterday's five-run ninth stole a game from the Cubs, and Red Sox, flying even higher after taking two from the Tigers, are a different story. They'll face two lefties, against whom they've lost four straight times, at Shea and the Sox have already taken five of six this season.

The starting pitching has rebounded, the bullpen has thrown 15+ scoreless innings in a row and wins are still hard to find because the Bombers can't hit on all cylinders at the same time. They'll have to over the next half-dozen games or the Torre rumors will flare up and Roger Clemens will be coming to a team that won't support him offensively any better than the Astros did the last three seasons. It's hard to say that they need to win this many or that many games of the next six but more losses than wins will lead to back-page mutterings and it's hard to figure the team can stay at the current level much longer while still harboring serious playoff hopes. 

(AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)

Something Else For Brett Favre To Bitch About

It hasn't been a great offseason for Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. Since deciding to return for a 17th season, Favre has demanded a trade, denied that he demanded a trade, considered boycotting next week's minicamp and agreed to attend next week's minicamp. He's still pissed by Green Bay's inability to upgrade the offense, specifically their refusal to trade for Randy Moss, and his incessant pouting threatens to overcome his increasingly iffy play as the reason why the team's probably better off if he'd just go home to Mississippi.

The Moss trade was a big complaint but Favre was also believed to be unhappy with the job Packer brass did at last month's draft. They grabbed Nebraska running back Brandon Jackson in the second round, a bit of a reach perhaps but a candidate to start nonetheless. That makes the fact that he won't be at the minicamp another burr in the saddle for Favre to complain about.

As a second-round pick, Jackson had an immediate opportunity to compete for a starting job in Green Bay's backfield. And, as a first-day drafted offensive player at a skill position, he received an invitation to participate in this weekend's Premiere event in Los Angeles, where top selected skill players attend photo card shoots, contend for endorsements and receive television exposure. Even better, players receive $12,000 for attending.

Yet Jackson's good fortune, however, has turned sour in recent days.

The Premiere event was scheduled for the same weekend as the Packers' minicamp -- and Jackson couldn't choose. The NFL Players Association and the Management Council ruled this week that Jackson was required to attend the Premiere event and not the minicamp.

"I'm being held out against my will," Jackson said Thursday. "I was told I either have to go home and do nothing or go to Los Angeles. They are locking me out against my will."

In a league where teams get away with treating player punitively for missing "voluntary" workouts and minicamps it's pretty crazy that Jackson is being forced to miss practice. I understand the league's desire to market their new faces but don't understand how this kind of overlapping schedule could come into play. The league couldn't get input from all the teams about when these practices would be held before scheduling their little meet-and-greet? And if it was so essential to have this Premiere event this weekend they can't figure out a way to get Jackson some time with a photographer at another date so that his attendance doesn't hinder his ability to do the job the success of any promotion done this weekend requires?

I'm sure Brandon Jackson is the guy that everyone is coming to see. I'd bet that the sponsors and television interviewers are sitting up right now composing plans for approaching Jackson and not, say, JaMarcus Russell or Brady Quinn. Or Adrian Peterson or any of the other bold-faced names, for that matter, it's a second-round running back from a second-tier team that plays in a miniscule market that's going to make this event zing.

The Big Story: L Millz

A daily look at the big story of the day in sports as seen through the eyes of writers and bloggers all across the internet.

Lastings Milledge made a lot of waves after he came up with the Mets last summer. He pissed off opponents and his own teammates with his outsized celebrations and perceived ego earning him condemnation within his own clubhouse. A note reading "Know your place, rook!" was pinned to his locker and there were grumblings that Milledge believed his own hype a little too much for someone with less than a month of time in the Show. That's nothing compared to the firestorm he set off this week with the release of a rap song called "Bend Ya Knees" by a rapper named Manny D which Milledge both produced and appears on in the guise of L Millz.

The song hits the Triple Crown of inflammatory rap words - "rich (N word)," "wealthy (N word)," a "top-notch ho" and having "a different bitch for every night" - and Milledge is catching a ton of flack for being involved with it. There are suggestions that the Mets should release him, suspend him, trade him, flay him in the town square...everything and anything so long as it's a strong condemnation. The Mets, for their part, have announced that they "disapprove of the content, language and message of this recording, which does not represent the views of the New York Mets." Which I guess means there won't be a Manny D night forthcoming at Shea Stadium.

What should they do? I don't really think they need to do all that much. They should probably prevail upon Milledge that it's not in his best interests to release songs with offensive language. I don't feel that way because I'm offended or because I question Milledge's right to record such words but because they are a business, Milledge is part of that business and it hurts both of them if people find his work offensive. Allen Iverson went through something like this in 2000 when he recorded his own rap single but after criticism from inside and outside the NBA he shelved the album. Obviously Milledge hasn't achieved an eighth of what Iverson had by the 2000 season but it's not like he participated in a criminal act or anything. It's just a song, even if it's an offensive one and the Mets would be very shortsighted if they decided to get rid of a potentially helpful player because of it.

However they may have an easy out if they want to make a deal involving Milledge, who is currently on the disabled list. Carlos Gomez has done well in his limited time since being recalled and Fernando Martinez, a ballyhooed outfield prospect, is on the horizon so they have some cover if they choose to move the talented, on the field anyway, L Millz. If he should mature, though, and develop into the player that many think he could be Omar Minaya, who resisted trading Milledge for much needed pitching last year, would look like quite the fool for bowing to outside pressure.

Ichiro On Ichiro And On Other Stuff

Ichiro Suzuki is many things. A centerfielder, Japanese, a snazzy dresser, a Stonecutter, a Communist, a great hitter, a frequent flyer and a fantastic interview. He spoke with Jon Saraceno of USA Today about a wide range of topics for today's paper.

When it comes to staying with the Mariners after becoming a free agent this winter Ichiro is non-committal.  "It's a very touchy subject right now, so I'd prefer not to answer." He said that he's grown uncomfortable with the way he's treated by the fans in Seattle over time, although the panicked reaction to his announcement, during spring training, that he would be open to playing somewhere else suggests the fans still love him pretty unconditionally. Manager Mike Hargrove had an interesting take on the situation.

"There are degrees of unhappiness. There are times in my marriage when I'm not real happy with my wife, but I still love her and, overall, I like it. I know the fans and the city love Ichiro. I think he loves them, too."

I'm not sure who is Mrs. Hargrove in that analogy but I'm sure she's glad to know that, overall, Mike's happy being married to her. But back to Ichiro who says competitiveness and compensation will determine where plays in the future. Whoever does sign him will get more than one of the best singles hitters the game has ever seen.

"Once I turn 40," he says, "I can become a pitcher. I'm kind of serious about it. But I'll have to learn to throw a knuckleball. Right now, I could be a 'normal' pitcher," who can top out at 95 mph with a fastball."

The Antithesis Of Rivera (But In A Good Way)

If you haven't caught a Cleveland Indians game since last season, and judging from the attendance you haven't, you may have missed the emergence of one of the best pitchers in the American League. His name's Fausto Carmona and he just put the finishing touches on his first career complete game and shutout, 2-0 over the Twins. He did it by outpitching Johan Santana, of all people, and on a day when Santana struck out 11 Indians in seven innings. Carmona's now thrown 15 straight scoreless innings and won his last five starts, giving him a 5-1 record and a 2.55 ERA.

Those unlucky few who haven't caught up with Carmona since last season will probably be surprised by the news. He lost his last 10 decisions in 2006 including one of the least successful spells as a closer in major league history. After the Sons of Geronimo dealt Bob Wickman to the Braves last July they installed Carmona as closer although he'd never filled that role before. Over a seven-day span Carmona blew three saves, with two walk-off homers, and lost four games for the Tribe before being returned to a regular relief role and, eventually, to the starting rotation.

Given Carmona's success in that role this season does that make him the yin to Mariano Rivera's yang? If you set Summer 1995 into the flux capacitator of your Delorean and head up to the Bronx you'll see a young pitcher struggling as a member of the Yankee rotation. The rookie made 10 starts among his 19 regular season appearances and showed few signs of a future as a Yankee legend and Cooperstown enshrinee. Rivera racked up a 5.51 ERA, gave up 11 homers and walked 30 batters in his 67 innings that season. The Yankees made the playoffs anyway, losing to Seattle in the first round, and Rivera didn't make the postseason rotation. He did, however, give some signs of the remarkable run that was to begin in April 2006 by throwing five and a third scoreless innings, striking out eight hitters and picking up a win in three appearances. You could do worse than to follow Rivera's career trajectory and while it's probably silly to wishcast that success for Carmona it certainly looks like some trial and error has led the Wigwammers to put him where he belongs.

(AP Photo/Mark Duncan)

I'd Hate To See His Take On Shiatsu

Normally when you go for a massage and ask for a happy ending you are the one who goes home happy at the conclusion of your rubdown. Not so when you go to Tom Porras of Scottsdale, Arizona. Porras, a former Arena League quarterback and track coach at Saguaro High School, is under indictment for public sexual indecency and assault after a 17-year old member of his team complained about what went on at his house on April 25.

There was soft music playing in the loft when the 17-year-old track athlete arrived at her coach's home after school...Tom Porras, 49, a former professional football player and substitute teacher and track coach at Saguaro High School, had asked the girl to come to his house to watch videos of other athletes doing the long jump. He also asked if he could give her an "athletic massage."

Porras told her to put on her two-piece bathing suit, and led her to a loft where he asked her to sit on an exercise ball. He massaged her neck and shoulders then asked her to roll onto her stomach. He fondled her buttocks beneath her bathing suit. Porras kissed her neck, cheeks and buttocks, and told her that if she had questions about sex, he would answer them. She declined. The girl told police she "felt uncomfortable, but didn't know what to do."

She became alarmed when he ejaculated on her. He told her it was massage oil.

As she was leaving his house, her coach had one last piece of advice for her. If she saw his son outside, she should tell him they were just "watching sports videos."

There's really a lot of questions to answer here.

1. She just happened to have a two-piece bathing suit with her when she went to the house to watch videos of long jumping?
2. She didn't become alarmed until he ejaculated on her?
3. Who willingly allows a mustachioed man to massage them?
4. What's the best music to have on in the background when you sexually assault an underage girl? It says soft music but are we talking Enya? Bobby McFerrin? Something from Porras' underrated second album "Music That Creeps You Out"?
5. Did she consider taking Porras up on his offer for a question about sex so she could ask if sex is supposed to take place with a non-consenual partner who is one-third your age and a member of the high school team you coach?
6. Is there ever a time when ejaculate is an appropriate massage oil? 
7. Did she pick up any good pointers for her long jumping? I mean, aside from learning that when a creepy old man shoots a load on your back you jump pretty fucking far. 
8. How many times has Porras Jr. been shooting some hoops in the driveway when an ashen-faced high school girl left the house and told him that she'd just been watching "sports videos" with his dad before he went in the house to find his father waiting with a dopey grin and a Putty-esque high-five?

(Thanks to With Leather for doing the dirty, dirty work)

I've Heard Of Taking Dictation But This Is Ridiculous!

An employee of a mailroom-staffing firm owned by a former New York Jet defensive back is suing her boss for $300,000 because of sexual harrassment. Tania Padro was the only woman working at Cambridge Corporate Services, owned by former Jet and former broadcaster John Dockery, and claims she was forced to deal with men ogling her breasts, bawdy comments and assorted other indelicacies that tend to make women feel uncomfortable. The final straw, however, was when Dockery made a "poetic" request that Padro just couldn't connect to her inner Keats. He instructed her to type an ode to a penis, truly the ode less taken in the history of poetry, leading to her decision to file suit.