A great question's been posed by The Big Picture this morning: If you could attend any fictional sporting event, what would it be? There are so many worthy contenders. The All-Valley 18-and-Under karate tournament, Kevin Costner's perfecto in For Love of the Game, Kumite, Thornton Mellon's successful Triple Lindy, The Natural...there are many, many worthy choices.
In these parts, though, the choice came down to two movies which didn't take place in the United States. In one corner we have the prisoner vs. Nazi soccer game in Victory and in the other corner is the Rocky Balboa-Ivan Drago Christmas Day fight in Moscow. Both events have some of the same draws. Rooting for the underdog in hostile surroundings, crowds that turn against evil lackeys into supporters of the little guy and stunning endings that would burn into your memory for the rest of your life. And, obviously, both events feature Sylvester Stallone in major roles, as does another member of my near-miss list Over the Top.
The drawback of Victory is that you'd probably have to be either a Nazi or a Frenchman to be at the game. It's a pretty hefty drawback although it's mitigated by getting to play a role in helping the prisoners escape at the end of the game. Sitting in that Paris stadium and cheering for the Allies in open defiance of their Teutonic overlords would be pretty great as well. "Victoire, victoire, victoire," indeed. Suspending disbelief long enough to believe that Michael Caine is one of Europe's finest footballers would be like a non-narcotic acid trip for the ages. Finally, Pele shrugging off injury to nail that bicycle kick would have to rank against The Dunk among singular moments of athletic brillance witnessed with these two eyes. It would probably even rank a bit higher as Starks wasn't in a POW camp 24 hours before the matchup with the Bulls.
But in the end the vote goes to Rocky's unexpected triumph over Drago. The announcers are American so you have to imagine that being a party apparatchnick isn't a must for attendance at the bout. It would be pretty incredible to sit down close during those first few rounds when Drago is just unloading on Rocky. The blood and sweat spraying from Rocky's body, the sound of each punch connecting with bone and the sheer thrill of a championship fight would outweigh, for a while anyway, the fact that the guy you want to win is getting his ass kicked. And then when Rocky comes back, it must have been that way in 1985 when Villanova chopped down Georgetown or when Buster Douglas knocked out Tyson, you can smell the upset in the air. Once the fans start cheering for him, I don't know how you'd keep your eyes dry in such a situation. And the waterworks would certainly open up when Balboa takes the mike after the match and addresses the once-hostile crowd with his message of love.
Not a dry eye in the house. Even without being able to see the training sequence, Rocky IV is the king of the fictional sporting events.
Comments