The Feed: Lip Service

The National Football League announced a stepped-up drug testing program to further battle the scourge of steroids. They aren't, of course, allowing an independent agency to oversee the testing and won't be doing much more than conducting the same tests for more substances more frequently when it comes down to it.

With the eyes of the nation turned toward the Big Game, the NFL is using the spotlight to trot out this brand new policy. No doubt they think that it will catch the eye of the writers who passed over Mark McGwire, all the congressmen who like to hold hearings about steroids in sports and not wars and everyone else who wants people to go back to doing it on hot Dogs and beer. Yet, for some reason or another (most likely alcoholism) that made me think of the seminal band Foreigner and, arguably, their greatest hit, Hot Blooded.

It started when I swapped out "Hot blooded, check it an see" for "Lip service, checkin the pee." I sort of went off from there and so, with apologies to Lou Gramm and Mick Jones, I give you "Lip Service." And yes, I did take my medication today.

Lip service, checkin the pee

Using EPO? We're gonna see

Shawne Merriman, do you do more than dance?

Pay lip service, lip service!

We don't have to take your blood or drag you through the mud

Upshaw you oughta know

That if you do the crime, you'll have to pay a small fine

But you know we'd never really fuck with the show

Now it's up to you to go out and find an untraced taboo

Between us and you, keep using HGH like you never knew

That's right, we pay lip service, checkin that pee

Using EPO? We're gonna see

Shawne Merriman, Do you do more than dance?

Pay lip service, lip service

If you piss all right, baby you can play all night

Selig looks even more ugly

But you've got to pee to the line, give congress a sign

Tell them, our piss ain't hot, mama. Baseball's sure looks that way to me.

Are you clean enough? Will your tests be up to snuff?

Isn't our timing tight? The nation will love us tonight.

We're paying lip service, checkin that pee

Cleaner than baseball, now that's the key

Shawne Merriman, do you do more than dance?

Lip service, lip service, WHOO!