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Don't Screw This Up, You Fucking Screw Ups

Saturday is a big day for Mike Tannenbaum and Eric Mangini; the two fresh-faced newcomers installed as GM and Coach of the New York Jets this offseason. The Jets hold the fourth and 29th picks of the first round and seven of the first 117 selections giving Tannenbaum and Mangini a chance to remake the team they’ve so recently inherited. And without much certainty at the top of the draft it remains a bit of a mystery just what the Jets plan to do with that high pick.

Beckett Scalped

Josh Beckett had a pretty charmed first month in Boston, winning his first three starts and a legion of fans. He hit the first bump in the road last night, however, surrendering a career high in runs  as the Indians thumped Beckett and his Sox 15-3. Ben Broussard hit a grand slam in the bottom of the first inning and a solo shot in the third on his way to an 8 RBI night. Victor Martinez hit a three-runner to chase Beckett from the game shortly thereafter and it was academic from there. 

• MLB.com has a pretty good lead for the Rockies 6-3 win over the Phillies last night: Garrett Atkins is relatively anonymous on a national level. Atkins launched a two-run tiebreaking homer in the eighth inning to spur Colorado's road victory. Like many unappreciated in his own country, Atkins has a large Belgian following and is considered a Sun God in Equitorial Guinea.
• Johan Santana finally put one in the win column with a 10 strikeout performance in leading the Twins to a 7-3 victory in Kansas City. Santana had been uncharacteristically hittable through his first four starts and while he wasn't perfect yesterday, showed signs that he may be rounding into form. The Royals, who play Tibet to the rest of baseball's China fell to 5-15.

Pitching In

Shawn Chacon gave the Yankees a third straight strong start at the Stadium last night and the Yankees took the series with Tampa by a 4-1 count.

The Yankee starters are 4-0 with a 1.57 ERA over their last five starts, a welcome and severe change from the struggles of the first two weeks. Chacon gave up four hits in six and a third innings and the bullpen took it from there with Mariano Rivera atoning for Wednesday's loss and picking up a third save.

The Yankee bats weren't much better than the blackout the night before but a Russell Branyan error in the sixth opened up a chance to put runs on the board. Hideki Matsui, mired in a 50 at-bat slump, bounced a single between diving infielders to score Gary Sheffield and Alex Rodriguez with the runs Chacon needed. Derek Jeter's bat remains locked-in, he was 3-3 with a walk and RBI last night and his average stands at .408 with the first month coming to a close this weekend.

Red Hot Reds (And I'm Not Talking About Castro)

Bronson Arroyo couldn't have been pleased when he was told he was traded from Boston to Cincinnati but it may just be the best thing that's ever happened to the wannabe rock star paying the bills as a starting pitcher in the big leagues. Arroyo improved to 4-0 with eight shutout innings in Washington yesterday as the Reds completed a three-game sweep of the Nats 5-0. He allowed just one hit while whiffing eight in Cincinnati's fourth straight victory.

• It was a good news/bad news day in the Twin Cities as the Twins won an important vote for a new stadium but dropped a 3-1 decision to the Royals on the field. The Minnesota House of Representatives gave it's approval to an increase in Hennepin County sales tax to help pay for a new downtown Minneapolis open-air stadium. They still must pass the Senate, which could prove even more difficult than the portly Runelvys Hernandez who returned to the Royals last night and pitched seven strong innings for the win.
• Jason Isringhausen gave up a game-tying home run to Jose Hernandez in the top of the ninth in St. Louis yesterday but Albert Pujols, who else, bailed him out in the bottom of the frame against Pirate veteran Roberto Hernandez. Pujols's league leading 29th RBI brought David Eckstein home for the 4-3 win and allowed the Cardinals to keep pace with the Reds and Astros in the NL Central.
• Delmon Young, perhaps the top prospect in all of baseball, is facing a pretty likely suspension after he threw a bat and hit an umpire during yesterday's AAA game between his Durham Bulls and the Pawtucket Red Sox. Young was called out on strikes in the first inning and argued the call, got ejected, then flipped his bat which struck the home plate ump in the chest. I'd tell you the umpires name but because the regular minor league umpires are on strike and replacements are being used, umpire names aren't being revealed. Young, a member of the Devil Ray organization, was the 2005 Baseball America Minor League Player of the Year. 

Never Go Against The Family

This week's Sports Illustrated features an article about Pat Riley as he returns to the playoffs with the Miami Heat. As you'd imagine the article features quite a bit of the Big Aristotle opining about the team, the coach and his relationship with the nascent BMOC Dwyane Wade. A key change, according to author S.L. Price and O'Neal is that he doesn't begrudge Wade's success, something that undermined his previous pairings with Penny Hardaway and Kobe Bryant. Says Shaq,

"When I was coming up with those other guys, it was all about me. Young Shaq and young Penny: Young Shaq got to be in control. Medium Shaq and young Kobe: Medium Shaq got to be in control. But old Shaq and nice, humble guy? I'm not going to be stopping him. It's like the Godfather: Penny Hardaway was like Fredo. Kobe was like Sonny: He wanted to be the man so bad. And Dwyane is like Michael, and the time has come to say, I'm going to do what you do. I've got to. I'm slowing down."

He then put an orange peel in his mouth and played in an orchard with his grandson. Maybe not but it's a fascinating insight into the three teams that Shaq's played for. Kobe as Sonny makes so much sense that it's amazing no one's thought of it before. So headstrong and physically able that he never stops to think about what might be the most beneficial thing for everyone in the long term. And Penny as Fredo also fits to a T. The thing I'd worry about if I were Shaq is that Gary Payton may well be Carlo Rizzi, the guy you don't notice has been fucking everything up behind the scenes until it's too late. Stan Van Gundy is Tom Hagen, clearly not a wartime consigliere and one wonders if it wasn't a horse's head that Jerry Buss woke up to the morning he decided to trade Shaq away.

Changing Directions

So the other day I intimated that Willie Randolph was wrong for choosing to intentionally walk Barry Bonds twice during the Met loss on Monday night in San Francisco. I don't know if Willie is a Feed reader, but if you are reading this good sir I urge you to go with your gut more often.

Bonds stunned Billy Wagner with two out and one on in the bottom of the ninth inning last night, lofting his 711th career home run into the left field stands to tie the game at seven. That the Mets came back to win 9-7 in 11 makes it only a cautionary tale rather than the story of a loss. The tale is that Bonds can still do something when he makes contact and that when the game is on the line with first base open it's still the best option to make Lance Neikro beat you.

Wagner's cause wasn't helped by David Wright's fifth error of the season, a poor throw that put Moises Alou on second and cut the Met lead to 7-5 but he had no one to blame for the 2-1 fastball to Bonds that caught too much of the plate. Chris Woodward and Jose Reyes drove in the go-ahead runs in the 11th to take Wagner off the hook, though, and the Mets head to Atlanta with a series win by the bay.

Brian Bannister is headed with them but it's unclear when he will be able to pitch again. The starter pulled a hamstring rounding third in the top of the sixth but was able to hobble home with a run before collapsing behind home plate. It was a typically frustrating start for Bannister, who gives up hits and walks in bunches but has shown a knack for avoiding the killer inning. He actually helped his own cause with a two-run double in the fourth inning and his second double in the sixth set up both the run and the injury. 

The Devil's In The Details

There was fault in spades at Yankee Stadium last night in the Bombers 4-2 10 inning loss to Tampa Bay.

Most dramatic was Mariano Rivera's loss in the 10th. He put two runners on before getting out of trouble in the ninth, but gave up a hit on an 0-2 count to Joey Gathright to lead off the next inning. Carl Crawford followed with a bloop double that scored the speedy Gathright and then a sac fly that brought Crawford home.

Only slightly less glaring was the Yankee failure in the bottom of the inning when they loaded the bases against nominal Devil Ray closer Dan Miceli but couldn't push a run, let alone two, across. Miceli was relieved by Shawn Camp who struck out Gary Sheffield to earn his second save and give the Rays a win on a night when they set an ignonimious team record with 14 walks allowed.

Those 14 walks were still fewer than the baserunners left stranded by the Yankees, 16 in total, in the third, most gnawing reason for last night's loss. They wasted an efficient start by Chien-Ming Wang and could never come up with a big hit outside of Gary Sheffield's fifth inning two-run homer. Alex Rodriguez and Hideki Matsui typified the Yankee struggle, combining to go 0-for-8 and stranding runners all night long.

Manny Of The Hour

New Rule: Don't intentionally walk people to pitch to Dominican sluggers. A night after Moises Alou made the Mets pay for walking Barry Bonds, Manny Ramirez followed an intentional pass to David Ortiz with a 393-foot blast to right field off of Guillermo Mota of Cleveland. It broke a  5-5 tie and lifted the Sox to an 8-6 win. Eric Wedge, the Tribe's chief, played the percentages and lost, but his decision-making was undoubtedly affected by Ortiz's ninth home run earlier in the game. Keith Foulke picked up the win for Boston despite pitching poorly once again but Mike Timlin and then the mohawked Jonathan Papelbon were better and closed out the win for the first-place Sox.

• Another exciting game between the Astros and Dodgers in Houston, but this time Preston Wilson's 14th inning sacrifice fly gave the home team a 4-3 win. It was still a distressing night for Houston who suffered through another Brad Lidge blown save, his second in two nights, before outlasting the Dodgers. Lidge spent two seasons as one of the most dominant closers in baseball but seems like he's still waiting for Albert Pujols' mammoth NLCS home run to land before he moves on and returns to form. The ball was last reported seen somewhere over the Solomon Islands but for the Astros it can't happen soon enough.
• The other Texas closer, Francisco Cordero, has been even worse than Lidge this April but the Rangers shared their statemates ability to comeback on Tuesday night. Cordero gave up two runs with a 5-3 lead but ended up with his third win of the year. Hank Blalock knocked a game-winning single off of Oakland reliever Chad Gaudin, pitching because Huston Street's been sidelined with a strained chest muscle, in the bottom of the ninth to make up for Cordero's brutal top half of the inning. Cordero's blown four of his seven save chances and has a 12.00 ERA but for the second time in four days the Ranger bats bailed him out for another cheap win.
• After a loss on Monday the White Sox got back to business in Seattle Tuesday blasting five home runs in a 13-3 shellacking of the Mariners. Tadahito Iguchi and Paul Konerko jumped all over Seattle starter Joel Piniero in the third inning, driving in two runs apiece and Jermaine Dye chased him from the game with the first of his two home runs the next inning. Relievers Bobby Livingston and Jake Woods were both torched as well against Ozzie Guillen's potent lineup.
• The Reds aren't cooling off, continuing their winning streak yesterday in Washington. They've taken the first two of the series, and three in a row overall and find themselves having the unlikely position of second best record in the National League. They took advantage of a shaky Billy Traber on Tuesday night, scoring four first-inning runs off the overmatched National hurler and holding on from there for the 6-5 victory.

Because I Got High

Ricky Williams's comeback has come to a screeching halt as the NFL announced yesterday that the pot lovin' Dolphins running back failed a fourth drug test resulting in a year-long ban from the league. He had to serve a four-game suspension upon returning to the team after his 2004 walkabout season and the running back, who turns 30 before next season, may have sent his career up in smoke, regardless of how much wear and tear he's saved himself with his assorted absences from the field.

Williams did become a yoga instructor during his previous sabbatical so at least he's got himself a fallback option as far as careers go. The Dolphins are also covered, having nabbed Ronnie Brown with the second pick in last season's draft and after splitting time with Williams last season the job is now his to lose in the upcoming season.

The biggest shame is of course those of us who enjoy a good sports scandal. With sex boat survivor Daunte Culpepper headed down South, I doubt I was the only one who looked forward to hearing about parties on South Beach with Culpepper and Williams orchestrating the activities.

When Is 235 More Than 710?

Barry Bonds hit his 710th home run in San Francisco last night but Xavier Nady's 31st was more important and Cliff Floyd's 204th more impressive and the Mets rode them to a 4-1 win. Bonds went deep to lead off the second inning, tying the score at 1-1, but Steve Trachsel was stingy otherwise for his second win of the season.

Nady broke the tie leading off the seventh inning and when Floyd lofted a ball into McCovey Cove in the eighth the Mets had a lead that held up. Floyd has struggled this month as the Mets have broken quickly from the gate but his home run was a blast and could signal a change in fortunes for the free swinging left fielder. Duaner Sanchez pitched two scoreless innings to run his streak to fourteen in a row to open the season and Billy Wagner pitched a perfect ninth for his fifth save.

In other Bonds news, his infamous personal trainer Greg Anderson has been subpoenaed to testify in front of the grand jury investigating whether Bonds committed perjury in earlier testimony about steroid use. Based on the information in "Game of Shadows" if Anderson tells the truth Bonds could find himself in a sticky situation. He could also back up Bonds's assertion that he never knowingly took steroids and instead turned his body over to the failed bodybuilder, no questions asked.