Phil Garner Doing That Voodoo That He Do

The Mets shook up their coaching staff last week in an effort to energize a team that looked like they were sleepwalking for chunks of the first half. Rickey Henderson is in, Howard Johnson is the hitting coach and Rick Down is somewhere only Rick Down knows. They might have saved themselves a little trouble if they just hired a practicioner of voodoo.

That's what Houston Astros manager Phil Garner is proposing to help his team solve their troubles against Carlos Zambrano of the Cubs. Zambrano is 5-0 with 0.40 ERA over his last six starts against the 'Stros and that's left Garner contemplating a return to a mystical Puerto Rican woman from his past.

"I'm serious," Garner said. "I'm going to try to find something. I'm going to voodoo Zambrano...Garner recalled that as a minor leaguer playing in Puerto Rico, he befriended a young lady at a restaurant near where he and players would spend their days off snorkeling, boating and eating. "The girl that took care of us other than the lady that owned it really took a liking to me, and so she did a voodoo thing on (Oakland A's Sal) Bando," Garner said with a smile.

Garner remembers the woman took a little doll resembling Bando and placed a needle on its heel. "And (Bando) ended up with a pulled hot muscle (near the Achilles)," said Garner, who was called up after Bando was hurt.

Why bother with petty nonsense like batting practice and plate discipline when you can just stick needles in a doll?