Kansas City Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez doesn't let himself get too caught up in the traditional way of doing things. He played football and basketball while at Cal even though somebody probably told him it was a bad idea, he knocked up the lovely Lauren Sanchez without slipping a ring on her finger and now he's taking part in a commitment ceremony on July 20th. Don't be fooled by the tight end or the commitment ceremony, Gonzalez is still straight as an Arrowhead Stadium it's just that he's from California, with a gal named October and probably concerned about keeping as much of his money as possible when the relationship falls apart.
“We’re not signing any papers,” Gonzalez told her, “but I wanted the world to know that I love her and want to spend my life with her. I did it the best way for me.”
The best way for you indeed, Tony G. Let the world know you love her and want to spend your life with her but keep her hippy paws off your cash because you're letting them know that in a ceremony officiated by former Chiefs fullback Tony Richardson.
"To be honest, your honor, Tony took so many hits to the head that things don't really work quite right up there anymore. He thinks he's a minister and, well, October isn't really a religious gal so I figured, what the fuck. I wrote some vows and told her I felt a spiritual connection, blah blah blah, but we never had a, you know, formal arrangement about anything."
Gonzalez met the still October Russell while she was working at a restaurant five years ago. The owner of the restaurant wasn't exactly a believer in the traditional marriage either. Who was he? Dennis Rodman.