Patrick Ewing Gloats
Georgetown and North Carolina played a helluva game to cap off the Elite Eight in Jersey last night, the best of the weekend by a shout, in fact. A masterful late defensive surge and picture-perfect offensive playmaking lifted the Hoyas to their first Final Four since Patrick Ewing wore grey T-shirts.
He wears a lot of dogtags now, for reasons unclear to anyone but the Big Fella himself, and he was merely a spectator in the 25 years coming revenge win over the team that beat him and Big John Thompson in the NCAA Finals of 1982. That didn't stop him from trying to get one over on the guy he could never beat when they were actually playing.
Ewing Sr. pulled out his cell phone. He was trying to call Jordan, his old nemesis, to rub it in, he said, "but he wasn't accepting my calls."
Jordan beats Ewing in that '82 title game, beats him in five playoff series en route to his six NBA championship rings which is, let's see, six more than Pat got in his day and he won full custody of Charles Oakley. He actually guaranteed 12 titles, maybe that's why he's wearing so many dog tags, but it's safe to say that in actual achievement Jordan has very little reason to be dodging Ewing's call. He was probably watching Oakley beat the bejesus out of an accountant from Des Moines who said something to Jordan in the Bellagio while he was on his way to a $5 million a hand blackjack table. If they had connected on the phone, I think it might have gone something like this.
PE: Yo Mike!
MJ: Kevin Bacon? How them Hanes fitting?
PE: No, no, it's Patrick, man! Did you see that? WE ARE GEORGETOWN!
MJ: Who the fuck is this?
PE: Patrick! Patrick Ewing!
MJ: Oh. (rolls his eyes in Oakley's direction) What's up Pat? Still sweating?
PE: Ha Ha. I'm at the Meadowlands, man. You saw me on TV right? Junior and the Hoyas are going to the Final Four. Took your ass out!
MJ: My ass? What the fuck are you talking about?
PE: The Tournament, man! Georgetown is back! Took your asses out! How do you like them apples?
MJ: Oh. Uh, that's great. I saw something about Georgetown and North Carolina playing again. You know I don't go there or play for them anymore, right? I didn't even watch the game. Oak and I are handling some business out in Vegas and weren't near a TV.
PE: I'm guaranteeing a Georgetown championship.
MJ: (Puts hand over phone) Yo, Oak. Put 50K on whoever Georgetown plays next. (Back to Patrick) Great, man. You enjoy that. Listen, Pat...
PE: Georgetown beats North Carolina! Take that! Going to Atlanta!
MJ: I gotta go, Pat
but mj gets no women. that has apparently been established. vegas is a bitch if you cant get no women
Posted by: dikembe | March 26, 2007 at 05:28 PM
^^^
Who wants to sex mutombo?
Posted by: ewing | March 26, 2007 at 06:00 PM
Compared to you, Dikembe, who among us can say that we get women?
Posted by: The Feed | March 26, 2007 at 07:06 PM
Well written & funny! Was hoping for a mention of a certain Atlanta establishment Ewing loved to visit, but I will take it as is.
Posted by: Carrousel Yacht | March 27, 2007 at 10:14 AM