If you're a reader of the L.A. Times then you know that Hollywood madam Jody "Babydoll" Gibson has a book coming out and that she's naming names of her clients. Degenerate film producer Don Simpson, Bruce Willis, a rock star or two; these aren't names that are going to shock anyone. What self-respecting Hollywood madam wouldn't have names like that in their little black book. What comes as a bigger surprise is that Tommy Lasorda's name was in there as well.
For those of us who thought that the only black book Lasorda's name ever appeared in was the reservation book at Dan Tana's, this comes as a shock to the system. So you can imagine what the excerpt from Gibson's book that appeared on Sports by Brooks and Deadspin has done to an already fragile person like myself.
CHAPTER 12: Gibson, who referes to herself as "Sasha", writes that she got a call from client "Jim in Chicago," who recommends Lasorda (Lasorda, "Sasha" (Gibson) and "Nanna" quotes are in italic).
Lasorda: "I’m interested in spending some time with someone."
Sasha/Gibson: "Sounds fine. Have you had a chance to look at my California Dreamin’ website? Perhaps there’s someone there you like?"
Lasorda: "Actually, I have. There’s a pretty blonde on there I’d like to meet. #6."
Sasha/Gibson: "She’s a sweetie. Her name is Nanna. She’s Swedish, about 5’6’’, nice perky 34b, slim and terrific company. Perhaps you can tell me what you’re looking for? Anything in particular I should know?"
I had to ask the standard question.
Lasorda: "Actually, Sash, I’d like to have some porn for me to watch while she sucks my (expletive). I’m into watching two gals together in a movie. Can she have that there?"
I started a file on Tommy and began to make the pertinent notes.
Yes, Sash, I think that qualifies as something particular you should know. It's much more than I should ever know, of course. I thought the only thing Lasorda liked in his lap while watching pornography was a steaming bowl of Linguine alle vongole. Gibson goes on to share her debriefing of Nanna after all the engagement was finished.
Nanna: "He was super easy and a really nice guy. You were right on all counts, Sasha. First he requested I pop in my girl, girl porn movie. … He just loved watching all that! I noticed though that he wasn’t the aggressive type."
Sasha/Gibson: "Really? What makes you say that?"
Nanna: "Well, here I had this real hot porn movie on. He enjoyed watching the girl, girl bisexual sex scenes best. He started to take his (expletive - penis) out and (expletive - masturbate).
"Then when I saw he was good and hard I started to suck his (expletive - penis). He really liked that! Then I used your ‘swirly’ move and relaxed my throat muscles so I could take him deep into my throat.
"The great (oral sex) skills you (Sasha/Gibson) taught me plus the porn really got him off."
My eyes! My eyes!
I really thought the only things that got Tommy Lasorda off was early-model Pedro Guerrero, Lasagna with a nice bechemel and Steve Garvey's hands on his thigh. You learn something new every day, some of them by choice, things like this...not so much. Lasorda's lawyer told T.J. Simers of the L.A. Times that he anticipates bringing a defamation suit against Gibson and I, for one, would love for all of this to not be true.