The Giants flameout yesterday has been getting a lot of attention in the local media, as you might have imagined. It was the lead story in all three papers. The Post went with Big Blew on the front cover, accompanied by Eli "Oh How Happy I Am My Last Name Is" Manning, and Tackling Dummy on the back, obviously featuring a picture of Mathias Kiwanuka forgetting how to play football. The Daily News countered with Sickening on the back page - Eli again - with just a bottom banner on the front while the Gray Lady was customarily sedate and confined to the sports section. The headline "Giants, Playing Catch And Release, Fail Again" is a good one though. Two running themes across every story today: This is the Worst Giant Loss of all time and Eli ain't getting the job done.
The blogosphere is not keeping quiet about the game either. Kissing Suzy Kolber has an exclusive missive from the beleagured quarterback himself.
I do not like football. I don't know how much clearer I can make that point. This sport blows. Everyone's running around and hitting each other... yikes. All I wanted when I was a kid was to hang out with my mom in the kitchen and make some zucchini bread. But nooooo, everyone's all like, "You're a Manning. You should play football!"
He reserves particular scorn for his older brother Cooper - a.k.a. the non-football playing Manning brother. An injury ended his career prematurely,
I always get Cripple Boy pulling me aside and spouting off some shit like, "Cherish these games, Eli. You're lucky to be playing in them." Oh, yeah? I got crazed loons like Albert Haynesworth trying to chase me down and stomp on my fucking nuts. Does that sounds like fun to you, Cooper? You get to sell real estate and ride Jet Skis on weekends. Meanwhile, I got Coach Stalin chewing me out and the New York tabloids writing punny headlines telling everyone what a dipshit I am. Oh yeah, bro. I'll cherish these moments. They're fucking sterling.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)